


heart made of glass (my mind of stone)

by reddieforlove



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, First Meeting, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, Language, M/M, Neighbors, Sexual Content, and SMUT, you know I like to kill you all with angst and revive you with fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 19:05:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14960348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddieforlove/pseuds/reddieforlove
Summary: To Eddie Kaspbrak, hopelessness is nothing new. It’s his constant companion. Then he meets Richie Tozier and all at once, everything changes.





	heart made of glass (my mind of stone)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all like this! It's been in the works for a while and I finally finished it.
> 
> Title is from Lovely by Billie Elish and Khalid

To Eddie Kaspbrak, hopelessness was nothing new. There was a point at which one started to embrace it. He thought that he finally stopped being surprised over how deep it could drag him down and how utterly devastating it could really be. Nine words spoken in a filthy office reinforced it all and convinced him even more that he would never get the chance to dig himself out of the hole he was in.

_“Sorry kid, you know I gotta let you go.”_

Eddie didn’t really imagine that he was long for the job anyway. There was very little security in being a stripper, especially in places like he worked up until an hour ago, where everything happened at the whims of the customer. One disagreement with a sweaty jackass and his money-focused, mildly sympathetic boss put Eddie out on his ass with a pile of clothes bills, a shitty apartment, incredibly overdue rent, and an aching body from hours of work that he probably wouldn’t even be paid for.

By the time he managed to drag himself off of the city bus and into his apartment building, he could barely muster the energy to even ride the elevator, pulling his sparse key ring out of his pocket as he stumbled out into the hall with exhaustion, both physical and emotional, settled deep into his bones. As soon as he unlocked and opened the door to his tiny home, his hand reached out to flip on the light of the living room. But nothing happened. Eddie let out a heavy sigh, knocking his head against the doorway.

His electricity bill might not be due for a couple of weeks but that didn’t mean that he could afford light bulbs when they burned out. He stepped further into his apartment, shedding his jacket and kicking away his worn sneakers. He felt like a film of grime covered him from head to toe, mostly from his former job, and all that he wanted to do was take a shower. The odds were not in his favor that it would be anywhere close to warm but Eddie was willing to take the risk.

As soon as he was clean, if not incredibly freezing after the shower, he didn’t even bother to search his kitchen for something to eat, dropping into his bed and pulling his threadbare covers up to his chin as he shivered. It was only then that the tears came, burning at his eyes and dripping down his cheeks, tracing hot paths over his chilled skin. His hitching breaths filled the air as he let himself feel it all. Every bit of hopelessness and anger and sadness. It was unfair. Eddie didn’t ask for any of this.

He didn’t ask to be raised by an overbearing mother who kept him locked away most of the time, fearing the world and his own body so much that he had no idea how to cope without her. He certainly didn’t ask for her to die suddenly in his junior year, leaving him in the care of the state since none of his aunts were willing to take in a sixteen-year-old boy. He certainly didn’t ask to be spit out by the system at eighteen, left floundering with no money and no way of supporting himself until he stumbled his way into a strip club that gleefully employed him.

He didn’t ask for any of it.

And yet it was his life.

So Eddie let himself cry until his tears dried up and his body sank into exhaustion. He had to take initiative the next day before he started getting envelopes with notices stamped in red ink. But it turned out that it was all easier said than done. He woke up the next morning with a blinding headache and very little energy after tossing and turning all night. But he forced himself to drink a cup of coffee, ate some almost stale crackers, and set out to figure out how to get a job.

As he slipped out of his apartment, a thermos in one hand and a scarf looped around his neck, he noticed that the door to 10D was wide open. It had been empty for a few months but judging by the boxes he spotted in the entryway as he passed, someone finally rented it. The knowledge faded from the forefront of Eddie’s mind as soon as he stepped out of the door and onto the street. He hurried his way down the street, boarding a bus after a few minutes of trying not to drink all of his coffee in one go no matter how tired he was. He was never more grateful for his monthly bus pass than that day, as he traveled all over the city to every single address he’d written down.

But it was all for nothing.

Eddie wished more than anything that he could pursue a different job but he didn’t have the experience for anything else. He was young enough to be let in the door of every club that he approached but no matter how he tried to present himself, as soon as he was forced to admit that he was fired from his last job for tussling with a customer, he was shown the door. No one wanted to hire a dancer who upset the customers. It was bad for business and no matter how much he talked, he couldn’t change it.

Eddie knew it was time to call it a day the moment he briefly considered going to one of the seedier places where he _knew_ that dancing wasn’t the only thing that would be required of him. There were lines he’d crossed in the past that he never wanted to cross again, no matter how desperate he felt. So he boarded the bus to take himself home, turning his face towards the window so that no one would see the frustrated tears welling in his eyes. Not that they would care. He just didn’t want the attention, good or bad.

He felt relief as he stepped through the door of his apartment building, if only because it meant seeking the relative comfort of his bed. Eddie knew that he would cry again. He knew that everything would be hopeless for another night. But then he’d get up and do it all again because if there’s one thing he couldn’t let himself do, it was stop fighting. He had to keep going or there would be little point to him even being alive. But his relief faded all at once as he saw the elevator doors creak open and the profile of his landlord as he frowned at something on the wall.

Eddie might have had a few weeks of leeway on the rest of his bills but he knew for damn sure that he was late on his rent. It wouldn’t be the first time and he was supposed to ask for an advance on his paycheck the night that he got fired so that he could at least pay off a little bit of what he owed. But if he came face to face with his landlord right now, he’d undoubtedly find himself homeless as well as jobless. So he did the only thing that he could do and that was run. It didn’t occur to Eddie to double back and leave the way he came.

“Hey!”

He flinched at the shout, hurrying through the hall of apartments to his left. Eddie honestly had no hope for escape but he kept running anyway. Until he collided headlong with someone’s chest. He staggered back with a sharp exhale, only avoiding falling back by the grace of two large hands that clasped his arms and kept him upright. Eddie barely managed to catch sight of wide eyes behind thick-framed glasses before he ducked beneath the man’s arm, finding his solace in the tiny, dimly lit mailroom.

Breathlessly, Eddie crouched down with his arms tucked tight around him and his lips pressed together, praying to whoever might be listening that he went unnoticed. It was a foolish thing to do. He’d absolutely trapped himself because there really was no way out now. He heard a low mutter of “what the fuck” and barely lifted his eyes before the huffing breaths of the landlord reached his ears. Eddie only got the vaguest glimpse of dark curly hair and pale skin before the stranger stepped out into the hall.

“You! New guy!” he heard Mr. Perkins said, clearly talking to the other guy. “You see someone come through here? Thought I saw 10H come this way.”

Eddie’s eyes widened and his heart sank in his chest. He was really screwed now. There was nothing to keep this guy from pointing to where Eddie was huddled in the corner of the mail room. And yet it never happened.

“I, uh… I don’t think so? Just the old lady in 7A with her dog. That thing’s ugly as fuck, ya know? The dog, not the lady. Though she wasn’t exactly a looker herself, I gotta be honest with you. She’s got some sort of weird thing going on with her right eye that-”

Mr. Perkins let out a grunt and a curse, cutting the man off, and Eddie could just envision him shaking his head with a red, angry face.

“Bet he slipped out the back. That little prick owes me twelve hundred and keeps slipping away.”

“You’ll get him, I’m sure,” the stranger said with a somewhat amused tone to his voice.

Eddie didn’t understand a single thing that was happening but he didn’t dare make a noise either, staring at a stain on the floor with his hands clenched tight into fists.

“You bet your ass I will,” Mr. Perkins said, sounding even more unhappy than before. “Don’t think you can get away with shit like this, we clear on that?”

“Crystal.”

With a huff, Mr. Perkins turned away and Eddie heard his heavy footsteps fading as he closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. The icy grip around his heart slowly released. His lungs still felt tight and he would have given anything for the inhaler he used to use as a kid. Only he couldn’t afford it anymore. He knew that it had all been fake, another one of Sonia Kaspbrak’s manipulations, but the comfort it gave him was very real and he didn’t even have that now.

“Hey.”

The voice that spoke was gentle and the touch on his knee was barely there but Eddie still jerked away with a sharp gasp, his head snapping up to meet those same eyes. The guy held up his hands where he knelt on one knee close to Eddie, looking as if he was trying to seem as unthreatening as possible.

“It’s okay,” he said, looking at Eddie with concern. “He’s gone.”

Eddie took a slow breath before letting his head fall back against the mailboxes behind him. He had a lot of questions. The first of them being why this guy helped him, but he didn’t really have the energy to ask any of them.

“Thank you,” he said instead, his voice sounding withdrawn and tired to his own ears so he couldn’t imagine how it sounded to this other man.

“It’s no problem.”

Eddie didn’t move. He had the feeling that Mr. Perkins would be lurking around for a while and knew that the safest spot was right where he was sitting, at least for the next few minutes. But the stranger showed no sign of moving either. Eddie didn’t see judgment in his eyes, only worry, but he still felt discomfort rising in his chest.

“I’m going to pay him,”  he said defensively.

The man didn’t look bothered by Eddie’s suddenly abrasive tone.

“I’m not judging you, man,” he said, shaking his head as he rocked back to sit on the ground. “I got no fucking idea what it’s like to be you. It’s not my business what you do.”

For some reason, his placating words didn’t satisfy Eddie. He knew that he was probably projecting his frustration and anger but he felt suddenly incredibly annoyed even though this man shielded him when he had no reason to do it.

“I will,” he repeated, a deep frown settling on his face. “I don’t have a fucking job or I would pay him right now. But I’ll get the money so stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

Eddie pushed up to his feet without thinking, pulling his jacket tighter around him.

“Like I’m a wounded animal or something. I don’t need that shit,” he hissed out.

Suddenly the other man was standing too and he was taller than Eddie by at least four or five inches, with wiry limbs and rips in his jeans.

“You’re one hell of a spitfire, aren’t you?”

Eddie had no idea what to say to that. His anger stopped dead in his tracks as he stared back at the man.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he demanded.

“It means that I was just trying to make sure you weren’t fucking catatonic or something and you look like you’re about ready to scratch my damn eyes out.”

Eddie stared at him for a long moment, fighting the temptation to yell at him again. He didn’t even know why he wanted to take everything out on this stranger, especially after he just helped him. In the back of his mind, he knew that it probably had something to do with how little control he felt in his life right now. Every bad thing had been building and now he was lashing out at the first person in a long time to show him even a modicum of kindness. So his shoulders slumped and he exhaled slowly, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice sounding defeated.

“No harm done,” the guy said, waving a hand dismissively. “Just promise not to take out the money maker if you do decide to hit me.”

He gestured to his face with a grin and Eddie tried very hard not to let his lips tug upwards.

“I’m Eddie,” he said, holding out his hand. “Eddie Kaspbrak.”

“Tozier,” the man said, taking his hand to shake it vigorously as he used an overly dramatic posh British accent. “Richie Tozier. At your service.”

He even sank into a low bow, nearly pulling a laugh from Eddie.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked instead.

“Introducing myself to the cutest damn neighbor I’ve ever had,” Richie said in his normal voice, straightening up. “I’m in 10D, which is coincidentally the size of my own d, if ya know what I mean.”

He pushed his glasses up his nose with a grin. So this was the new guy on Eddie’s floor. He clearly had a lack of filter if this first conversation was anything to go by.

“Is that in millimeters?” Eddie asked before he could help it.

Richie tossed his head back, letting out a bark of laughter.

“10H gets off a good one,” he said, looking delighted. “Let me walk you up, cutie.”

Eddie resisted the urge to scowl at him.

“What makes you think I need an escort?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest.

“Figure you may want someone with you to distract our illustrious landlord in case he’s still prowling around,” Richie said with a shrug, leaving the offer out there.

Eddie considered it for a moment.

“We live on the same floor,” he finally said, sidestepping Richie to make his way towards the opening of the mailroom. “Guess I can’t stop you from walking the same way as me.”

“That’s the fuckin’ spirit!”

With that, Richie fell into step with him. They walked down the hall slowly and quietly, listening for any sign of Mr. Perkins. Luckily they made it to the elevator without spotting him and Eddie quickly hurried on as soon as the doors opened, not willing to take any risks. Richie leaned with his back against the wall as Eddie punched the button for their floor. His eyes were fixed on Eddie without wavering but he didn’t feel uncomfortable beneath his gaze. More off-kilter, like there was something about Richie that drew him in even though he couldn’t explain it.

“What?” he hissed under his breath.

Richie replied with a simple questioning hum as he drummed his fingers over his thigh.

“You’re staring,” Eddie said with a frown, refusing to look at him.

“It’s hard not to, Eds.”

Finally turning his head, Eddie fixed him with a glare.

“That’s not my name,” he said in a low voice. “And try harder.”

Richie only grinned at him, looking delighted instead of dejected. Eddie had no idea what to think of him. But before he could say anything else, the elevator dinged and Richie swept his arm out in a motion for Eddie to go first. So he did, stepping out into the hallway as he pulled his keys from his pocket and looked every which way to see if Mr. Perkins was waiting up there. Eddie had no idea what he would do if he was there but the last thing that he wanted was to be surprised again.

“You want a drink?”

Eddie jumped when he heard the words, turning to face Richie.

“What?”

“A drink,” Richie said, gesturing down the hall with his thumb. “I don’t have much but there’s a couple of beers chilling in my fridge, I think.”

Eddie looked him up and down, trying and failing to figure out what he wanted. In his experience, people didn’t do things without expecting something in return. So what did this guy want?

“No,” Eddie said after a moment of hesitation.

He swore that he saw disappointment flash through Richie’s eyes but it was gone before he could even blink.

“Well you know where I am if you change your mind,” Richie said cheerfully, leading Eddie down the hall.

Mr. Perkins wasn’t anywhere to be seen, allowing him to make it to his apartment door unmolested. Eddie felt eyes on him as he slid his key into the lock and glanced back the way he cams to see Richie hovering at his own door, looking at Eddie with something unidentifiable on his face.

“Thanks again,” Eddie called out, feeling somewhat awkward now.

Richie simply grinned at him and saluted before disappearing into his apartment. Eddie barely heard the door shut behind him before he was slipping into his own, leaning against the wall with a light sigh. Somehow his interaction with his eccentric neighbor had rejuvenated him just a little. Tomorrow would be a new day, he was certain of it. He just had to make it until then.

*****

The next day, as it turned out, was just as fruitless as the one before. It didn’t help that he was practically laughed out of a few gay bars where he tried to get waiter positions. They claimed he was pretty enough to serve customers but his experience didn’t really recommend him for the position. It was nothing Eddie didn’t already know. He approached his apartment warily, unwilling to let his guard down this time.

Unfortunately, his luck was far worse today and he found himself face to face with Mr. Perkins as soon as he stepped through the door. The landlord was posting a notice on the bulletin board about trash that would undoubtedly go unread by the majority of the building. No amount of running would help Eddie today as the older man swiveled around and fixed him with a glare as soon as he walked through the door.

“Kaspbrak,” he hissed, stalking up to him.

Eddie started to stagger back but found himself pressed against the wall, dread settling in his chest. This was it. He’d be out of a home now too. Mr. Perkins reeked of stale cigarette smoke and mothballs as he drew closer, glowering at Eddie.

“You may have gotten by with it this time but hear me now, I won’t give you so much time next month. Pay your goddamn rent by the date it’s due or you’re out of here, ya got it?”

Eddie blinked once, then twice, trying to make sense of his words.

“What?” he said, his voice small and uncertain.

Mr. Perkins narrowed his eyes at Eddie before reaching into his jacket to pull out a wrinkled envelope that was undoubtedly filled with money. He waved it in front of Eddie’s face.

“Next time you can give it to me personally instead of taping it to my door. And I want a check too. You know I hate thinking about where these bills have been,” he said with a sneer.

Eddie barely caught glimpse of the scrawled writing on the outside of the envelope. Writing that certainly didn’t belong to him. But there it was, clear as day. His name and apartment number. Eddie was willing to bet that the stacked bills in the envelope would add up to twelve hundred dollars, exactly how much he owed.

“I understand,” Eddie said even though he didn’t at all.

Mr. Perkins looked him over with another glare before turning around to stomp away. Eddie stood there for several long moments, his breaths coming out in short gasps as he tried to make sense of what just happened. He didn’t get lucky. Not ever. Unless there was a literal guardian angel out there looking to protect him, which was laughably unlikely, clearly something weird was going on.

It wasn’t until he climbed onto the elevator and pressed the button for his floor that Eddie remembered. There was only one other person, beside him and Mr. Perkins, who knew how much Eddie owed in rent. The first thing that he felt was the shock. Then understanding. Then came the anger. It rose in his chest and burned hotter than fire, making his hands curl into fists and his teeth grit together.

It all made sense.

He’d been right before. No one did anything without expecting something in return. Richie must have thought he was being too subtle when he invited Eddie in for a drink. _A drink_. It was far from likely that a bottle of beer was all the other man had planned. He should have trusted his instincts. Kindness was never free. The thought only made him more furious. Eddie stormed out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened, finding himself in front of 10D in an instant.

His fist came down on the door hard, the several loud knocks echoing in the otherwise empty hallway. Eddie briefly thought that Richie might not be home but was proven wrong when he heard a thump and a curse before footsteps approached the door. As soon as it flew open, Richie looked at him with the slightest bit of surprise before a grin formed on his face. He looked absolutely delighted to see Eddie, which made him all the more angry.

“Eds,” he said brightly, bracing his hand on the doorway. “Just the man I wanted to- _oof_!”

Richie grunted as Eddie used both hands to shove hard at his chest. He didn’t see the push coming, staggering back several steps before looking at Eddie with wide eyes.

“What the fuck do you want?” Eddie demanded loudly, stepping into Richie’s apartment. “Did you think maybe the drink invitation was too subtle so you’d try putting me in your debt instead?”

He pushed at Richie again, nearly sending him sprawling over a box that still sat unopened in his entryway.

“Eddie, what the-“

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ say my name you asshole!”

He didn’t realize that tears were slipping down his cheeks until one caught on his lip. Eddie wiped them away quickly before scowling at Richie again.

“So where do you want me, huh?” he asked, bitterness in his voice.

Richie’s face betrayed his confusion.

“On my knees right here? Maybe bent over your kitchen counter or spread out on your bed?” Eddie seethed, advancing on him. “Tell me where, Mr. Tozier. Let’s start working this off right here and now.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Richie finally managed to say, reaching out to halt Eddie in his steps with gentle hands on his shoulders.

Eddie knocked them away without a second thought, his chest heaving as he waited for an answer.

“You think I’m gonna make you sleep with me?” Richie asked, sounding horrified and a little hurt.

“What else could you want?” Eddie snapped.

He could tell that Richie was grasping for something to say. The air was charged between them and Eddie almost regretted coming in here at all. Maybe if he had just walked by, he could have avoided this for a few days. But he was here now and there was no putting it off.

“Hasn’t anyone ever just done something nice for you?” Richie finally asked.

Eddie scoffed, shaking his head with derision written across his face.

“Nothing is free,” he said, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “It won’t be the first time I’ve worked off a debt.”

The confession made the air around them grow all the heavier, hanging between them as Richie’s mouth snapped closed and sympathy flirted across his face. Eddie’s blood ran cold as he realized what he said. He took a stumbling step backward, finding it hard to breathe yet again. He hated seeing the look of pity in someone’s eyes. He hated knowing the lengths he’d gone to simply to survive.

“Hey,” Richie murmured, reaching out to him.

“Do _not_ fucking touch me,” Eddie almost yelled out, shoving his hand away.

He looked up at Richie with wide, panicked eyes. It was all too much. Eddie couldn’t handle any of it right now. Before he knew it, he was turning around and running out. Richie called out to him but Eddie didn’t pay him any mind, rushing down the hallway to his door. He threw himself inside as soon as it was unlocked, slamming the door shut behind him.

This time, Eddie didn’t even make it to his bed.

He sat right there on the floor in front of his door and let the tears flow.

*****

Eddie wasn’t a believer in hiding away from his problems. He knew from experience that it never made them go away. It just made things worse. But in the aftermath of his confrontation with Richie, it was hard to bring himself to do anything else. All that Eddie could do was stew in his own misery, curled up in bed or on his couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he tried not to think too hard about the current state of his life.

He didn’t answer the door the few times that someone knocked on it. Eddie was almost certain that it was Richie and he wasn’t about to put himself in a position to confront what happened. At some point, he wouldn’t be able to ignore it anymore. But he intended to postpone it as long as possible. It wasn’t until he completely ran out of food that Eddie resigned himself to his fate.

After scraping together the meager amount of emergency money he had hidden away in the back of his closet and taking a quick, cold shower to wash away the grime of several miserable lonely days, Eddie hesitantly stepped out into the hall. It was thankfully empty. He managed to make it down the elevator and out to the street without coming across anyone.

He should have known that his luck would only last so long.

It wasn’t until Eddie made his way back to the apartment building after a visit to the dollar store to stock up on the cheapest food he could find that he saw him. Richie was near the curb just outside of their building, a beanie pressing his curls down and a cigarette held lazily between two fingers as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

He looked frustratingly good, which made Eddie all the more annoyed with him. If there was an accessible back door into the building, Eddie happily would have circled around to it. But he had no other choice but to enter through the door just behind Richie and it was cold enough outside that he wasn’t about to linger there until his neighbor went back in.

So Eddie moved forward, praying silently that he could slip by unnoticed. He should have known that the universe wouldn’t let him off that easy. As soon as he came within ten feet of Richie, the other man glanced down the street right towards Eddie, his eyes snapping back to him when he realized what he saw.

“Oh,” Richie said, dropping the half-smoked cigarette to the ground. “Hey, I was just-“

“Don’t,” Eddie said shortly, keeping a wide distance away from him as he made his way to the door.

He didn’t even lift his arm to open it before Richie was speaking again.

“I realize why you’re upset.”

As much as Eddie wanted to ignore the words and continue on, something made him stay. He didn’t turn back to face Richie but he didn’t leave either. That seemed to be enough encouragement for the other man.

“I didn’t think about how you might feel when I did that. Honestly I don’t know how I thought you’d react but I understand that you have every right to feel pissed as hell and even violated. It wasn’t my place to get involved with your shit and I’m sorry for it.”

Eddie couldn’t help but hear the genuine undertone to his voice and, in spite of himself, felt like he could actually trust what Richie was saying. Every instinct built from years of being around the worst sort of people told him it was foolish to fall back under this man’s spell but it was so incredibly tempting.

“I’ll give you a free shot to push me again if you turn around,” Richie offered, the slightest hint of humor in his voice. “I won’t even sue you if you accidentally shove me in front of a bus or something.”

Eddie couldn’t help the small, almost laugh that slipped out. He was turning around before he knew it, meeting Richie’s gaze warily.

“You really didn’t expect anything out of me? You just.. put up twelve hundred dollars out of the goodness of your heart?” Eddie questioned, tilting his head to the side slightly.

Richie nodded his head, looking slightly hopeful now that he’d gotten Eddie to actually look at him.

“People don’t just do that,” Eddie said with a shake of his head, stepping closer to Richie. “It’s not supposed to happen.”

“Why not?” Richie shrugged.

Eddie didn’t really know what to say to that. He certainly didn’t know what to do with this man, who seemed to have a lightness to him that spoke of hardly ever being burned by the cruel world they lived in. Eddie hated him for it, just a little. But he couldn’t deny that he liked him for it too.

“I don’t like being someone’s charity case,” Eddie said, regarding Richie with a frown. “And I _really_ don’t like being in someone’s debt.”

“You’re not in my debt,” Richie argued.

“I’m not just going to let this go,” Eddie countered.

A thoughtful look came over Richie’s face for just a moment before something like realization dawned in his bright blue eyes. Eddie watched him curiously, sensing that he had something to say and waiting to hear it.

“I have an idea,” Richie said happily.

“Try not to hurt yourself thinking too hard.”

A snort of laughter escaped Richie’s mouth at Eddie’s deadpan response. Against his better judgment, Eddie allowed a small smile to tug at his lips. It was hard not to, with Richie looking at him like that.

“I’m starting my own business,” Richie said, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he wandered closer. “A record store. I’m still in the process of setting it all up and my friends are all busy with their own jobs and lives or whatever. I could use an extra set of hands.”

Eddie stared at Richie, unable to completely let go of the suspicion that there was a catch somewhere. In his experience, there always was.

“You want me to help set up your store?” he said.

Richie nodded eagerly, looking thrilled at having thought of it.

“You help me get it all up and running, two or three days tops, and we’re even,” he offered before sticking a hand out towards Eddie. “Deal?”

Eddie’s eyes darted between his face and his hand, wondering if it was really going to be this easy. He couldn’t find fault in Richie’s idea. It would certainly satisfy his need to not let the debt go unpaid. And it was certainly the nicest way to pay up that anyone had ever offered him.

“Deal,” Eddie finally said, shifting the grocery bags that he held to one hand so that he could shake Richie’s with the other. “When do we start?”

Richie grinned at him, wide and unrestrained.

“Tomorrow morning at nine sound good to you?” he asked.

Eddie nodded, pulling his hand back.

“I’ll meet you back here,” he said.

“Can’t wait,” Richie said, sounding genuine.

Eddie stepped back, turning away from him to walk inside. As he did so, he heard the sound of a lighter flicking on. He couldn’t help but glance back over his shoulder as he opened the door.

“Those things will kill you, you know?” Eddie called out, watching as Richie exhaled the smoke into the air.

With an amused shine in his eyes, Richie simply shrugged his shoulders.

“We all gotta die someday, Eds.”

Eddie shook his head and let the door shut behind him without bothering to correct the name. As he headed for the elevator, all he could wonder was what the hell he just got himself into.

*****

The next morning, Eddie came out those same doors with a shiver, wishing that winter would end and spring would begin so he wouldn’t feel so damn cold all the time. Richie wasn’t there yet. Eddie wasn’t sure that he expected him to be, since he was a few minutes early. It didn’t take long for the sound of jaunty whistling to reach his hears and Eddie turned, already knowing who it was. Sure enough, Richie was marching happily down the sidewalk straight towards him, two to-go cups from a nearby cafe in his hands.

“Good morning,” Richie said happily, holding one of them out to Eddie. “I wasn’t sure what kind of coffee you like so I got hot chocolate instead. It’ll warm you right up.”

Eddie wanted to argue against Richie spending money he didn’t have to yet again but the temptation disappeared as soon as the cup began warming his hands. He took a slow sip and let out a soft sigh at the warm sweetness, deciding that he’d let Richie get away with it this time. Eddie remained quiet as he fell into step with Richie, letting him take the lead all the way to the nearest subway station. When they made it to the turnstiles, Richie stepped aside and let Eddie go first with a low, dramatic bow. It took a heroic effort not to smile. Eddie settled with shaking his head and muttering that Richie was a dumbass, even as his chest grew warm.

Their journey was quiet for the most part until it wasn’t.

Richie sat next to him in the train and hummed a song that sounded somewhat familiar, but that Eddie couldn’t quite place. His fingers drummed out what seemed to be a completely different beat on his thigh and both of his feet, clad in worn converse, tapped on the floor. It should have been more annoying. Part of Eddie was tempted to ask that he stop but somehow the odd behavior seemed to fit Richie so well that he left it well enough alone. When he saw Richie pushing up the sleeve of his jacket out of the corner of his eye, Eddie turned his hand and watched as his long fingers fiddled with a myriad of colorful bracelets that covered his wrist, in all shapes and sizes.

“Are you in fucking middle school?”

The words slipped from his mouth before he could help it. Richie’s eyes snapped over to him before glancing down at the bracelets. His lips stretched into a lopsided grin as he shrugged, reaching up to run a hand through his already messy hair.

“My best friend started giving them to me in high school. She’ll still leave them for me to find and I just add them to the collection,” Richie said, sounding unembarrassed. “They help me.”

Eddie felt bad for judging him, knowing now that they were a coping mechanism for something.

“Does she live here?” he asked, finding that he was somewhat curious about Richie. “Your best friend?”

“Yeah, she lives closer to Washington Heights. She’s in fashion design school.”

Eddie nodded in understanding, wondering if she was as eccentric as Richie.

“We grew up together,” Richie continued on, having no issue filling the silence. “There wasn’t even a question of us coming to the city together too.”

Eddie tried not to acknowledge the envy that rose in his chest. He’d had friends growing up but considering the lock and key his mother kept him under, they never went deeper than school friendships. He certainly didn’t keep in contact with them after the foster system let him go. Before he even came to the city, Eddie was on his own. Even now, four years later, Eddie was still on his own. If he was being honest, Richie was probably the person he’d talked to the most since moving to New York.

“What about you?” Richie asked, breaking Eddie out of his thoughts. “You grow up here?”

The question was simple enough. And yet it made Eddie want to close off and not speak again. He didn’t want to get into any of his past. Richie already knew too much from what he’d revealed in anger and exhaustion.

“No,” Eddie said simply, hoping that Richie would leave it at that.

The other man seemed to sense Eddie’s unwillingness to talk, much to his relief, and he fell silent again. Then the humming and finger drumming returned. Eddie was almost grateful for it. He didn’t try to speak to Richie again. Their stop came soon enough. Richie bounded out with the energy of a child, letting Eddie lead the way out of the station before gesturing for him to walk down several blocks. When he imagined what their destination might look like, Eddie envisioned a grungy storefront nestled between other similar looking businesses.

But they were on a fairly artsy street with a clearly young demographic, judging by the people that they passed. Richie lead him straight to a good-sized store. The windows were blank apart with a logo stamped on the door that looked like a record cover itself with bold words. **Trashmouth Records**. Eddie blinked at the name of the store, trying to make sense of it. He wondered why anyone would possibly want to call a business that. Richie must have noticed his confusion because he grinned proudly, tapping a knuckle over the logo as he unlocked the door.

“Like it?” he asked.

“It’s… weird,” Eddie said, using as mild a word as he could muster.

“Figured I might as well put my nickname to some use,” Richie said with a wink before pulling the door open.

Eddie didn’t have time to dwell on that particular piece of information because they were stepping inside. It was undoubtedly dusty, with stacks of boxes lining the walls and several shelving units that were begging to be cleaned. It didn’t look too terrible, but there was certainly a lot of work to be done. There was already a fair amount of character in the space. The dark wood floor, cream-colored walls, and the warm lighting overhead gave it all an incredibly cozy feel even though it wasn’t set up at all.

“What do you think?” Richie asked, an undercurrent of pride in his voice as he dropped the keys on the cashier counter at the back.

“It’s nice,” Eddie said, turning in a full circle to take in all of it.

He wasn’t sure what else to say. Though he liked music well enough, Eddie was never one to frequent record stores. In fact, this may well be the only one he’d ever stepped in and it wasn’t even open. Richie didn’t look discouraged by his reaction, a bright look in his eyes as he stripped off his jacket. He was wearing nothing but a thin white t-shirt underneath. The bracelets on his wrist looked no less ridiculous but somehow they fit the man who wore them, which was even more confusing.

“All the boxes are filled with records,” Richie said, ducking behind the counter to grab a pair of scissors. “They are in no order whatsoever. I just got them shipped from a wholesale distributor and hoped for the best.”

“Shouldn’t we clean first?” Eddie asked.

Richie stopped short, glancing around at the dust-covered surfaces that surrounded them.

“Yeah,” he said, his brow furrowing as if he didn’t even think of it before Eddie mentioned it. “I don’t have shit to clean with.”

“We passed a CVS on the way,” Eddie reminded him, stripping off his own jacket to reveal the threadbare light blue sweater he wore below. “I can start getting boxes out of the way so we can sweep and dust everything.”

Richie grinned at him, grabbing his jacket.

“What would I do without you, Eddie Spaghetti?” he asked, already heading for the door.

It took a moment for him to process the use of yet another nickname.

“What the fuck did you just call me?” he demanded.

Richie’s laughter was the only answer he got. With a sigh, Eddie began lugging boxes to a corner of the room, fitting them all in as tightly as he could so that they could clean up as much of the floor space as possible. He didn’t think it would take Richie that long to grab cleaning supplies but he finished moving the boxes and managed to drag the shelving units out of the way by himself before the other man got back. Eddie immediately grabbed the broom from him, expecting that Richie would find something to do. Instead he was ducked down behind the counter and fiddling with something.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked, feeling more annoyed than curious.

He wasn’t about to be the only one doing something, debt or not.

“Trying to get this piece of shit to work,” Richie said, huffing out a sigh before jamming his finger down on something. “Aha!”

Something crackled overhead and Eddie looked up just in time for music to start pouring out of several speakers in the ceiling. The song was vaguely familiar, like he’d heard it in a movie or television show at some point. Richie’s head popped back up and he looked triumphant, grabbing the dusting clothes and spray out of the grocery bag.

“It’s the first thing I set up,” he said proudly.

“Glad to see your priorities are in order,” Eddie muttered to himself.

Richie still heard it and looked utterly unbothered as he began dusting off the counter, singing along to the music without a care in the world. Eddie tried to block it all out but it was hard, especially when Richie insisted on dramatically mimicking the original singers of each song. He would have had a better voice if he wasn’t trying to be ridiculous. Eddie found himself looking over at him every once in a while as he gathered a pile of dirt and other random stuff in the middle of the floor. Either Richie didn’t think he was watching or, if he did, he was unashamed.

He didn’t hesitate to dance along the music as well as sing, swinging his skinny hips and moving his feet in a ridiculous mockery of dancing. Richie was far too lanky and ridiculous to look anything but silly as he danced but Eddie couldn’t deny the smile that tugged at his lips as he watched and swept at the same time. Richie caught his eye at one point and beamed at him, which made Eddie think that he wasn’t all that good at hiding his amusement at the other man’s antics.

With a shake of his head as Richie started singing even louder, Eddie turned his attention back to the task at hand. It didn’t take them long to clean up the small space. As soon as they finished up, they both dragged the shelves back to where they were supposed to be, lining the walls with a few in the middle of the room. Eddie snatched up the pair of scissors, setting himself to opening up the boxes. Richie didn’t say anything about organization so Eddie simply started making stacks in alphabetical order.

While he worked on unpacking records, Richie was using whatever available surface he could to stand on while he hung various pictures, record covers, and artsy signs on the walls in a somewhat organized manner. Eddie couldn’t help but acknowledge that he certainly seemed to know what he was doing. Even if he’d never opened a store before, it was fairly clear that Richie had been dreaming about doing it for a long time. As the minutes turned to hours with nothing but music and records and Richie, Eddie found that he was more at ease than he’d been in a long, long time.

It wasn’t until the door opened that he was jolted out of the peaceful world he’d been in. Richie was starting to organize the records he unpacked by genre, keeping them in alphabetical order. His head snapped up when the door opened and they both turned their attention to whoever walked in. There was more than one person. The man who came through first was tall and slim with dark, somewhat golden curls and an angular, nearly flawless face.

He was somewhat intimidating, with sharp eyes that likely noticed everything. He certainly caught sight of Eddie where he was sitting cross-legged on the floor. A girl came through the door next, much shorter than the man with auburn hair and a smile even brighter than her blue eyes. There was delight plain on her face as she looked around, clapping her hands together.

“Holy shit, Rich,” she said, turning around in several circles to take in everything. “It looks fucking amazing.”

Richie lunged up from the floor, darting over to her.

“Doesn’t it?” he said, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug, lifting her off the ground as her peals of laughter filled the air.

Eddie refused to acknowledge the bitter taste that formed in his mouth at the sight of them, turning his attention back to the box in front of him as he continued unpacking the records.

“I thought it would take you at least a week to get this much work done on it,” the man said, much quieter than either of the other two.

“We all have Eds to thank for that,” Richie said without a beat of hesitation.

Eddie’s cheeks warmed just a little bit as all of the attention was drawn to him. He certainly couldn’t ignore the fact that they were all making their way over.

“Eds?” the girl said, sounding both confused and interested.

“He lives in my building,” Richie said, reaching a hand out to Eddie as he began setting aside the records in his lap to stand. “He’s giving me some help since none of you assholes wanted to volunteer.”

Eddie slid his hand into Richie’s hesitantly, letting himself be pulled up to stand. He smoothed out his sweater and pants before looking up at the newcomers warily.

“Eddie Kaspbrak,” he said, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater.

“This is Staniel, my keeper in all things,” Richie said, reaching up to ruffle the other man’s hair.

Stan shoved him off with a frown, aiming a sharp elbow at Richie’s ribs that he barely managed to dodge.

“Stanley Uris,” he said, reaching his hand out to shake Eddie’s. “You can call me Stan.”

Eddie nodded at him, barely pulling his hand away before the girl was stepping closer with a wide smile on her face.

“Beverly Marsh,” she said, giving him a warm look.

“My mate,” Richie said in a poor mimicry of an Australian accent. “You already know some things about her.”

This was the aforementioned best friend. She wore bright clothing and almost as many bracelets on her wrists as Richie. There was definitely something about her that reminded Eddie of Richie and he could easily see how they might be two peas in a pod. Stan wore a neatly pressed shirt under a navy blue sweater and clean khakis, which made it harder to fit him into the puzzle that was Richie’s life. But even as he rolled his eyes at Richie’s antics, there was something brotherly and affectionate in his body language.

“Have you been talking about me, Mr. Tozier?” Beverly asked, propping one hand on her hip as she stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth cheekily.

“Always, Miss Marsh,” Richie said, leaning down to press a smacking kiss to her cheek.

Eddie felt incredibly out of place. His eyes darted away from the three of them as he tried to figure out what he should do.

“Well we’re here to help now,” Stan said.

Eddie glanced at him only to see that Stan was looking directly back at him. There was some sort of understanding in his eyes. It didn’t take much to figure out if Richie’s friends were as nice as him. It was already fairly obvious. Eddie just wished he didn’t feel so uncomfortable around them.

“How about we order pizza and get some shit done?” Beverly suggested.

“Sounds like a party to me,” Richie said with a nod, looking Eddie’s way. “What about you?”

Eddie couldn’t deny that he felt somewhat hungry but he was already doing this to repay what Richie did. He wasn’t about to add more on top of that, even if it was simply eating what was probably no more than a two dollar slice of pizza.

“I think I’ll head home,” he said, stepping away to grab his jacket where it was laid over the cashier counter.

“Are you sure?” Beverly asked, looking as though she felt bad. “You don’t have to go just cause we’re here. We’re happy to get to know Richie’s new friend. He doesn’t make a lot of them.”

Stan snorted, nodding in agreement. Richie flipped off both of them before turning to face Eddie with a frown on his face.

“You can stay, Eds,” he said quietly.

Eddie shook his head. Even if he wasn’t feeling like an intruder, he wasn’t about to take advantage of more kindness that he couldn’t repay.

“I’ll meet you here tomorrow,” Eddie said, knowing that there was at least another day of unpacking and organizing records to go.

He gave a polite nod to Beverly and Stan, slipping his jacket on before walking towards the door. It was impossible not to feel Richie’s eyes on him as he left, Guilt rose in his chest at leaving so abruptly but Eddie knew it was probably better to do it anyway. He wasn’t friends with Richie, no matter what Beverly said. This was simply a matter of repaying him. After they were done, there was just as good of a chance that he’d never see Richie again outside of brief hallway glances. It would be better that way. Eddie knew full well that he wasn’t a good addition to anyone’s life. There was a reason that he was so alone. The world, and Richie Tozier, were certainly better off if he stayed that way.

He should have known that Richie wouldn’t make it that easy.

Eddie barely made it ten feet down the sidewalk before he heard Richie calling his name. With a heavy sigh, he considered ducking his head and walking on but he wouldn’t put it past Richie to follow him all the way to the subway station in an effort to talk to him. Eddie felt both annoyed and somewhat charmed by the other man’s insistence, even if he was just trying to keep his distance and Richie was making it fairly impossible.

“Hey,” Richie caught his elbow gently, turning Eddie around to face him.

He thankfully dropped his hand as soon as Eddie stepped away and refused to meet his eyes. He wished that Richie would have just let him go. It would all be easier if they kept a distance. Why couldn’t Richie see that?

“You don’t have to go,” Richie said, sounding like he was on the verge of being upset. “Stan and Bev are good people and-and I don’t want you to leave. Please stay.”

Eddie finally looked up, his eyebrows drawing together in a frown.

“Why?”

Richie looked taken aback by the question and Eddie could see his mind working to answer it as his eyes darted this way and that, even as they kept fixed on Eddie’s face. With a suddenly rapidly beating heart, Eddie took a slow step back and then another after that.

“Why do you want me here? Why are you doing this?” he continued, waiting for Richie to answer.

He was doomed to be disappointed. Richie remained silent and somewhat alarmed at his sudden questions.

“You aren’t doing this to let me repay a debt. I’m not an idiot and I know that you don’t think I owe you anything. So why do this? Why bring me here with you and why ask me to stay? Why pay my rent in the first place?”

Eddie’s voice grew louder and more insistent with every question he asked.

“I-“ Richie shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, something that Eddie was starting to recognize as a nervous tick. “I just… saw something in your eyes the day we met. You looked hopeless and…”

He trailed off and Eddie felt choked by the anger that rose in him. This is what he never wanted. This is why he chose to be alone. Eddie knew that people would always look at him one of two ways. Either with disgust for what he’d done to simply stay alive or with pity. Richie was so clearly the second type of person.

“Broken?” Eddie finished for him, spitting out the word. “Just a broken little toy that you thought you could fix?”

Richie was quick to shake his head, his eyes growing even wider behind his thick-framed glasses.

“No that’s not-“

“Shove it up your ass,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I thought… I thought that maybe one person in the world saw me as a human instead of just a fucking doll to manipulate into whatever they want me to be.”

He wasn’t even fully aware of the words that fell from his lips. Eddie didn’t even know that he felt that way until now. That the way Richie spoke to him the day they met made him feel so incredibly normal. Like he wasn’t everything that he’d gone through. Like he wasn’t just a toy to be played with.

“Eds that is not what I think,” Richie said, moving towards him with a plea in his eyes. “Please, just… I thought you deserved better than whatever made you look so goddamn hopeless. I thought you deserved a break from whatever was crushing you. That’s why I did it.”

Eddie didn’t know if he meant the words to be a soothing balm but they just made him angrier.

“You don’t fucking know me!” he nearly yelled, unable to fully understand why this was making him so furious and defensive. “You don’t know a thing about me!”

“I’m trying!” Richie all but shouted back before immediately calming his voice. “That’s why I wanted you to come here. That’s why I invited you for that drink and why I want you to stay. I _want_ to know you, Eddie. Please just… come back inside.”

Eddie shook his head. He couldn’t handle this. Or maybe he didn’t want to. Either way, he had no intention of going anywhere with Richie.

“I’ll get you the money,” he said, though he had no idea how he would do it. “But I’m not doing this. I’m not something you need to put back together.”

“Eds,” Richie sighed, reaching out towards him.

“Don’t,” Eddie said, jerking out of reach. “Just… don’t.”

As soon as the words left his lips, he turned away. Richie didn’t try to stop him this time. Eddie didn’t know why that just made him feel worse. He hurried to the nearest underground station and tried to tell himself with every step that he was better off this way.

That he was better off alone.

*****

In the days after the disastrous confrontation, Eddie doubled down on his efforts to find a job only to come across even more doors that were slammed in his face. Sleep evaded him nearly every night as he laid away trying not to think about his current unemployed state, which somehow led always led to him thinking about Richie.

Each time he left his apartment, his eyes were drawn to the 10D on his door and Eddie’s chest aches with sadness and frustration. The more he tried not to think about it, the harder it became not to do so. Eddie knew that there was every chance that Richie meant well, but he also knew that he wouldn’t feel completely comfortable with Richie with the imbalance between them stemming from the debt he owed.

So he felt more determined than ever to find a job, which led him to yet another strip club that turned him down. But this time was different. As Eddie gathered himself to go, refusing to let his frustrated tears gather, the owner stopped him with a hand on his shoulder before he could walk out. Eddie felt his stomach twist at the touch but didn’t dare to shrug it off, knowing that he couldn’t afford it.

“I got a buddy who throws private parties every once in a while,” he said, letting Eddie go and digging around in his desk for a pen and a piece of paper. “He likes to hire entertainment and doesn’t really give a shit what they’ve done before as long as they can dance.”

Eddie felt somewhat wary of the offer. He’d never danced for a private party. At least he knew in the clubs that there was a measure of protection from bouncers and owners. At a private party, he didn’t know if there would be anyone to depend on. But even with all of his doubts and hesitation, Eddie knew that he didn’t really have a choice. He took the offered phone number, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket with a nod and a forced smile.

“Thank you,” Eddie said.

The man nodded, looking Eddie up and down.

“Play your cards right and you’ll get a lot of tips,” he said with a licentious wink.

Eddie kept the smile fixed on his face as his skin crawled. He wished more than anything that he had a choice. After finding the nearest payphone and digging through his pockets for quarters, Eddie called the number. The man who answered sounded much like a businessman. Eddie knew better than to think that offered any level of comfort. The rich ones were often the worse kind. But he listed his employment history and without having to offer any more details, he was given an address, date, and time.

It wasn’t what he wanted, but it was all that he had.

*****

In spite of his bone deep exhaustion and the sick feeling that had stirred in his gut all night, Eddie felt the slightest bit of relief that nothing went wrong. All that they expected of him was dancing and, true to the club owner’s word, Eddie walked away with handfuls of tips and a stack of bills from the man who threw the party.

Several invitations were whispered in his ear to accompany undoubtedly rich men to a hotel but Eddie dodged every one and managed to make it out of the penthouse apartment without compromising the promise he made himself to never make money that way again.

The ride back to his apartment was mostly quiet and Eddie was grateful that it was uneventful. He managed to make it inside and up the elevator with slow, tired steps. Even though he felt like he was ready to sleep, part of him feared that he wouldn’t be able to.

There were times when he found it hard to leave his work behind, especially at night as he struggled to cope with every unwelcome touch and sneering grin. As he walked out of the elevator with a soft sigh, the last thing that he expected to see was another person in the hallway. But there he was, frozen at his door with his keys dangling loosely from his hand.

Eddie drew up short at the sight of him, his breath catching in his throat as he watched Richie look him over. It was nothing like the glances he’d received all night. Richie’s brows pinched together with concern at the sight of Eddie’s ruffled hair, heavy eyes, and exhausted posture. Too tired to feel even the slightest bit of anger or annoyance, Eddie started to shuffle on past him until Richie spoke up softly.

“Are you okay?”

Eddie stopped again, taking a deep, shaking breath before letting his bag fall to the ground. He didn’t know what possessed him to do it but before Eddie knew it, he was leaning with his back against the wall and his arms wrapped loosely around his middle.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, tilting his head back against the wall as he let his eyes flutter closed.

He didn’t hear anything but soft breaths from Richie’s direction. Part of Eddie expected that he would continue on into his apartment and leave him alone. After all, that’s pretty much what Eddie told him to do last time they spoke. But Richie didn’t go anywhere. Eddie heard shuffling and opened his eyes only to see that Richie was leaning against the wall across the hallway in a similar position.

His eyes were on Eddie, wary and yet unashamedly worried at the same time. It wasn’t the look of someone who felt pity. It was the look of someone who really did care. Eddie couldn’t understand it. For years no one gave a shit whether he lived or died. Most of the people who bothered with him at all only did it for what he could provide them. But here stood a man who demanded nothing of him and yet seemed to care.

Maybe that was why Eddie opened his mouth to speak the words that he’d kept to himself for so long.

“I got fired,” he said hoarsely, a strange feeling rising in his chest as he spoke. “Just a few days before I met you.”

It took Eddie longer than it should have to realize that the strange feeling was one of relief. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually let himself talk to someone. Years of internalizing his own pain and his own burdens had worn Eddie down to where he had a hard time even understanding why it felt good to actually talk to someone.

“I dance for people,” he continued, using the mildest of terms to describe what he’d been doing since he was eighteen. “That’s what I was doing tonight. It’s what I’ve always had to do. My dad died when I was five and my mom when I was sixteen. The foster system took me in and then they pushed me out the day I turned eighteen. I didn’t have any place to live. I didn’t even finish high school. I came here because it’s what I always dreamed of doing and I… I did whatever it took to stay alive.”

He didn’t look at Richie. He didn’t know if he could. The weight of his words filled the air with a thick tension. Eddie slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest. It took a moment for Richie to do the same, though he stretched his long legs out across the hallway. He didn’t say anything. Eddie was grateful for it and yet a small voice in his head silently begged to hear Richie’s words right now.

“Like I said, I was fired a few days before I met you. I wish I could say that’s why I looked the way I did but the truth is… I’ve looked that way for years. I’ve been hopeless for such a long time that it’s just the way it is for me. And even before my mom died, I carried my burdens all on my own. It’s how it’s always been.”

Eddie was too tired to even cry. He let the words slip out without stopping himself, knowing he may regret it in the morning. But all he could feel was relief that for the first time in his life, someone was actually listening to what he had to say and that there was actually a chance that that someone cared. Turning his head, Eddie finally met Richie gaze again.

“You wanted to know me,” he said with a shrug, his voice breaking just a little as he smiled sadly. “I guess now you do.”

In spite of himself, a tear slipped out of the corner of his eye and traced a path down his cheek. Eddie looked down and wiped it away quickly, wishing that he could stop feeling like the world crushing him for just a few minutes.

“Eds,” Richie breathed out with no trace of disgust or anger in his voice. “That’s not… that’s not who you are. You aren’t what’s happened to you. You’re so much more than that.”

Eddie looked at him again, unable to quite bring himself to believe what he was saying. Beyond what he’d experienced, Eddie didn’t even know if he knew himself.

“You don’t have to do this,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “I have money. I can pay some of what I owe you and…”

He trailed off, not knowing what else there was to say.

“I think you and I both know I’m not taking that money,” Richie said, confirming something that Eddie already suspected. “Not because of how you got it but because I don’t need it. I’m a trust fund brat from Los Angeles who can only open this record store because my parents are rich enough that I got a fancy ass business degree from NYU and now I can put it into what I’ve always dreamed of doing. And I promised myself way back when I got access to my trust fund that I wouldn’t use it except to help people.”

Eddie stared at him for a long few moments, trying to grasp what he said.

“There are a lot of people in this city who need help,” he finally said. “People who deserve it a lot more than me.”

“I think you do deserve it,” Richie countered, shrugging one shoulder. “Judging by what you just told me, the universe owes you a hell of a break from all the bullshit and if I can offer even the slightest bit of relief from the burdens you carry all on your own, then that’s good enough for me.”

Eddie’s lower lip trembled slightly as he felt a rush of intense emotions. Not once in all of his twenty-two years had he ever had someone look at him the way Richie looked at him or talk to him the way Richie talked to him. He didn’t know what to do or how to react. Part of him wanted to put up his walls and get far away because it was terrifying. The other part wanted to lean on Richie right now and find comfort in his words. Eddie bit down on his lower lip and inhaled deeply through his nose, a thought pushing in that he’d had before but never dared to voice. There was never anyone to trust with it.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Eddie finally said, letting the words free. “I want more for myself. I want… I want to have hope.”

A soft laugh passed his lips and he felt somewhat elated at having spoken them. It was freeing in a way, that he was finally admitting out loud that he wanted better for himself. Before it always seemed like a stupid thing to think because there wasn’t better for him. There was just more of the same. He didn’t even know if it would do any good to say it out loud now but at least he could admit it to himself and not feel like a naive idiot for doing so.

“I don’t even know what that looks like for me,” Eddie admitted.

Richie leaned forward, bending his knee and propping his elbow on it with a slight smile on his face.

“Then find out.”

It sounded simple enough. Eddie supposed that it was, for someone like Richie. He stopped his thoughts in their tracks because just like Richie didn’t know what it was like to be him, he didn’t know what it was like to be Richie. For all he knew, the other man had endured shit in his life that Eddie had no clue about.

“How?” he asked.

“Maybe it starts with letting someone help you,” Richie suggested.

Eddie narrowed his eyes, wondering if Richie really thought that was the best thing to say.

“Not like that,” he insisted, putting his hands up in surrender. “Not like what I did before. Just… let me take you to lunch tomorrow.”

It didn’t sound too bad. Eddie couldn’t help but wonder exactly how lunch was going to fix all of his problems.

“You’re not paying,” he said conditionally, knowing that after he paid his bills and bought things like lightbulbs again, he would have enough money left over to at least get himself food. “I’m not letting you buy me anything else.”

“Trust me, Spaghetti Man,” Richie said with a smile forming on his face. “Neither of us will be paying for this meal.”

Eddie frowned at the cryptic words.

“What does that even mean?” he questioned.

Instead of answering, Richie pushed up to his feet and held a hand out, patiently waiting for Eddie to take it. He hesitated for a moment before doing so, placing his hand gently into Richie’s larger one, feeling strangely comforted by the way his fingers wrapped around his hand and gripped firmly before tugging him up to his feet. The motion put them inches apart, with Eddie looking up into Richie’s eyes with his lips parted slightly in surprise.

“Trust me,” Richie said, looking at Eddie imploringly.

It was a loaded request. Eddie couldn’t think of the last time he’d given his trust to anyone who wasn’t himself. But then again, he couldn’t remember the last time that he wanted to. And _holy shit_ did he want to. So he nodded his head slowly, letting Richie know that he would trust him. That he would take this risk, knowing that he could get burned because for the first time Eddie was starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Richie looked pleased and relieved all at once., reaching up to cup Eddie’s cheek very lightly with the palm of his hand.

Unlike the touches that he’d been subjected to that night, the ones that made his skin crawl and his stomach twist, this touch soothed him and made warmth rise in his chest. Eddie let his eyes close again, leaning his head into the touch. Richie’s sharp intake of breath didn’t pass his notice and Eddie wondered if this felt as right to Richie as it did to him. Before he could open his eyes, he felt the soft brush of Richie’s lips over his forehead and his heart skipped a beat at the soft affection.

“Tomorrow,” Richie said, pulling away.

Eddie opened his eyes and looked up at him, nodding his head.

“Tomorrow,” he repeated, wishing that tomorrow could come right now.

Richie gave him a soft, tender smile, brushing his thumb over Eddie’s cheek very gently before pulling away. Eddie watched him go, his hand rising to press over his rapidly beating heart. Though he still felt tired, he knew that he might actually be able to sleep now. As he turned to walk into his own apartment on shaky legs, his heart felt full and his mind was awash with thoughts of what may happen tomorrow. As he took a shower and climbed into bed in his softest pajamas with a smile on his face for the first time in ages, Eddie wondered if perhaps this was what hope felt like.

*****

The undercurrent between them was far different from the first time that Eddie followed Richie onto a train. He let out a laugh when Richie generously announced that he would allow Eddie to pick where they sat and pressed in close to him when they did sit even though there was plenty of room. Eddie couldn’t bring himself to argue. Deep inside, he knew he kinda liked it. As they rode towards Washington Heights, Richie plucked one of his bracelets off of his wrist, a black corded leather one, and slipped it onto Eddie’s wrist with a wink.

“For luck,” he said.

Color rose to Eddie’s cheeks and he looked down, tracing the tips of his fingers over the leather as he smiled. When he looked up at him again, Richie was staring at him with something unidentifiable in his eyes.

“What?” Eddie said.

“Nothing,” Richie shook his head with a smile of his own. “You’re just…”

He trailed off, his eyes taking in every inch of Eddie’s face.

“I’m just what?” Eddie pressed him.

He wanted to know. He wanted to hear what Richie thought. But then the train jerked to a stop and they both steadied themselves as Richie tore his gaze away from Eddie to look around. After several moments of silence in which Eddie waited for him to look back and finally answer, Richie let out a curse before grabbing Eddie’s hand.

“This is our stop,” he said.

They jolted to their feet, hurrying towards the doors. Because they’d waited so long, Eddie barely made it through and only by the grace of Richie’s hold on his hand pulling him out quickly before the doors slammed shut behind him.

“You asshole,” Eddie huffed, shoving at Richie’s shoulder half-heartedly. “I could have died!”

Richie let out a laugh, tossing his head back to the ceiling.

“Someone’s a bit dramatic,” he said after a while, still laughing.

Eddie scowled at him, though it took a lot of effort not to laugh along with him. Richie had an infectious way of laughing.

“C’mon, I’m so hungry I could eat a fucking horse,” Richie said, tugging Eddie towards the exit.

“How about you eat a dick instead,” Eddie muttered, charging past him to take the lead through the turnstiles.

Richie laughed yet again, sounding absolutely delighted with his response.

“Maybe later,” he said.

As they took the stairs up to the street level and wound up on a semi-busy street, Eddie realized that they still hadn’t let go of one another’s hands. And when Richie tugged him towards the stop light to cross the street, neither of them bothered to let go. It wasn’t until they walked several blocks, with Eddie hyper aware of Richie’s hand cradling his the entire time, that they wound up at their destination. From the outside, it looked like every other diner that existed in Manhattan. There was a colorful sign over the window with a cute name that Eddie barely glimpsed before Richie tugged him inside. As soon as they were through the door, Richie dropped his hand and turned to face him.

“Welcome to the best burger place you’ll ever eat at,” he said.

“Really?” Eddie said, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh yeah,” Richie said with a nod. “You gotta trust me, Eds. You’ll never be the same.”

He turned around again, leading Eddie further into the restaurant. It was nice and clean, with light blue cushions on the booths and light pink cushions on the stools at the counter, pretty decorations on all the walls, and a jukebox at the other end next to the hallway that undoubtedly led to the bathrooms.

“Tozier!” a voice called out from behind the counter.

As Richie raised his hand to salute, Eddie looked for the source of the call and his eyes settled on a kind-looking man with dark skin and a bright smile. He wore a clean white t-shirt and there was an apron around his waist as he filled up two drinks from the soda machine.

“Sir Mike,” Richie said with a firm nod as he adopted a ridiculous British voice. “We have come to your abode in search of sustenance.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at Richie’s antics.

“Pick a spot, any spot,” Mikesaid, looking like he was used to it by now.

Richie did just that, dropping into a booth with his arms spread wide and his legs crossed beneath the table. Eddie slipped into the other side with far more grace and silence, glancing around for a menu and finding none. Richie whistled to get his attention and pointed towards the counter where there was a menu posted up on the wall in bold letters. It was all basic diner food. Eddie couldn’t deny that a burger sounded good. He didn’t yet understand why they wouldn’t pay for their food, even if Richie was friends with one of the waiters. Surely they weren’t allowed to give out free meals at the whims of their customers, even if Richie was charming and convincing.

“What’s your favorite kind of shake?” Richie asked, tapping his knuckles on the table rhythmically.

Eddie shrugged, fiddling with the bracelet on his wrist. It had been years since he even had a shake but he wasn’t going to tell Richie that. He didn’t want any of this to be darkened, even though Richie had a sense of how difficult his life had been from the things he shared the night before.

“I think I’ll try the chocolate,” he said instead.

“Solid choice,” Richie said with a nod.

He didn’t get the chance to ask Richie what kind he liked before the aforementioned waiter was walking over to the table with a notepad in his hand.

“Richie,” he greeted with a nod.

“Milord,” Richie said in return.

With a grin and a shake of his head, Mike scribbled something out on the pad.

“I’m guessing you’re doing your usual Coke and oreo shake,” he said.

“You know me so well,” Richie said, pretending to get choked up as he wiped a fake tear from his eye.

“Shove it, Rich.”

The waiter rolled his eyes good-naturedly before turning his attention to Eddie.

“You sure you wanna be seen wandering around the streets with this guy?” he asked, pointing his pen at Richie. “He’ll get you into all kinds of trouble.”

“Shhh,” Richie hushed him, reaching out to smack his well-muscled arm. “I’m trying to woo him here.”

“He looks way too smart for you, buddy,” Mike said before reaching out his hand. “I’m Mike.”

Eddie reached up to take it, shaking it several times.

“Eddie,” he said with a smile.

“What can I get for you, Eddie?”

“I’d like a water and a chocolate shake please,” Eddie requested.

Mike nodded with a warm smile that seemed incredibly natural. Eddie couldn’t help but feel comfortable in his presence.

“You’re polite too,” he said, glancing from Eddie to Richie and back. “Definitely way out of your league, Tozier.”

“Fuck off, Hanlon,” Richie said, though he was still smiling.

Mike simply laughed, the corners of his eyes creasing before he told them that he’d be back to take their food orders as soon as he got their drinks.

“I like this place,” Eddie said as Richie turned his full attention back to him. “It’s nice.”

“I’ve known Mike since I came here for college. We stumbled in here one morning after drinking way too much and he gave us coffee until we could walk straight. We made a point to come in sober a few days later and found out that the food is really fucking good too,” Richie explained. “His grandfather ran the place then but Mike’s taken over now.”

“Guess we’re lucky you didn’t get yourself kicked out all those years ago,” Eddie said, smirking at Richie. “Otherwise we’d have to live with really fucking mediocre food and that would be just unacceptable. I’d never let you take me anywhere again.”

Richie blinked with surprise before grinning at Eddie.

“You’re cheeky, aren’t you?” he said.

Eddie simply shrugged, sitting back as Mike returned with their drinks.

“What can I get you, Eddie?” Mike asked once he set down the water and Coke.

Eddie glanced from him to Richie and back, briefly wondering why he was the only one asked.

“Mike already knows what I want,” Richie said, giving Eddie a smile that could only be described as soft.

It made Eddie think of the way he kissed his forehead the night before and he felt a low tug of want in his chest. He resisted the urge to duck his head, tearing his eyes away from Richie to look up at Mike.

“I’ll take a burger with cheddar cheese and no onions please,” he said.

Mike nodded, writing it down.

“I told him these are the best fucking burgers around so don’t make me look bad,” Richie warned him.

“You do that just fine on your own,” Eddie said automatically.

Richie grinned at him, seeming more charmed than anything, as Mike let out a laugh.

“I think you and I are gonna get along just fine,” he said, patting Eddie’s shoulder before walking away to put in the order.

Eddie felt the slightest bit of satisfaction, letting a smile form on his face before he turned his attention back to Richie, who was still giving him that look.

“Can you tell me more about you?” Eddie asked.

He was undeniably curious about Richie. As much as he wanted to know Eddie, Eddie wanted to know him.

“What do you wanna know?” Richie asked.

“Anything,” he answered without thinking much. “Everything.”

For just a moment, Richie didn’t look as though he knew where to start. Then he leaned forward and braced his elbows on the table.

“I was a real sweetheart in school,” he started.

Eddie snorted, dragging his water closer.

“I didn’t ask for a fairy tale,” he said.

“Yowza,” Richie said, laughing lightly. “Eds gets in a good one.”

Eddie smiled at him around his straw.

“Fine, I was a real asshole. But I was a lovable one,” Richie told him.

“Now that I believe,” Eddie said, leaning back in the bench. “Tell me how you met Beverly.”

Richie didn’t hesitate to launch into the story of their meeting, which led to several tangents about their middle and high school mischief, including sneaking out to the bleachers to smoke and playing countless pranks on just about everyone. He talked about his parents, who seemed like amazing people, and about meeting Stan and another couple of friends, Bill and Ben, at college. Eddie found himself swept away by Richie’s words, listening to them with rapt attention for the next half hour while they waited for their food. When Mike finally brought it along with their shakes, Eddie couldn’t deny that the burger looked amazing.

“You’re a god amongst men, Hanlon,” Richie said, giving his own burger a satisfied look. “I’d give you a kiss but I think Stan might have a thing or two to say about that.”

“You and I both know that Stan wouldn’t _say_ shit,” Mike said with a grin. “And you wouldn’t look good with a black eye.”

Eddie watched their exchange with amusement, giving Mike his thanks before he left them to eat.

“How is your shop coming along?” Eddie asked as he poured ketchup out beside his fries.

“It’s good,” Richie said, looking happy at the thought of it. “I got the last shipment of records yesterday so it should be set up just in time to open next week. Bill’s done a great fucking job at getting the word out on social media and we’ve posted some flyers up at a few bars and coffee shops so hopefully that’ll get some traffic through.”

“I bet you’ll do great,” Eddie said, bringing his shake closer. “I can tell you really love music.”

Richie smiled at him over his burger before taking a big bite. Eddie took the chance to sip at his shake, relishing in the sweet taste. It really was amazing. The whole meal was. He devoured it eagerly, relishing in every bite. It had been a long time since Eddie was able to eat something like this. It was only when he finished off a fry that he remembered a question he hadn’t yet asked.

“Why did we come here?” Eddie asked, watching Richie drink his own shake. “You made it sound like it was for more than just a meal last night.”

Richie looked at him for a moment before sitting up a little straighter with a bright look to his eyes. Then he tilted his head towards the counter, pointing his finger at a specific spot. Eddie followed where he was pointing and his eyes trained on a sign that he hadn’t seen until now. **HELP WANTED**. He stared at it for a long moment, his chest growing just a little bit tighter as he read it several times before turning his attention back to Richie.

“Be serious, Richie,” Eddie said with a shake of his head. “I don’t have any experience and I doubt anyone would actually want to hire me.”

“I am being serious, Eds,” Richie said, leaning forward. “You said that you want better for yourself. Maybe it starts here, maybe it doesn’t. But would it really hurt to try?”

Eddie didn’t say anything, his eyes flitting back to the sign as he dropped his hands beneath the table to fiddle with the bracelet again. _“For luck,”_ Richie told him on the train. He knew exactly what he was doing when he brought Eddie here. He must have heard from Mike that the diner was hiring. Eddie recognized the feeling stirring in his chest again. The slightest traces of hope making his heart beat just a little bit faster. As Mike came back over to top off their drinks, he knew that this was his chance.

“Hey Mike?” he said softly.

Those kind eyes fixed on him. Eddie returned his gaze nervously, feeling Richie’s eyes trained on him too.

“Do you think that I could get an application?” he asked, pointing at the sign to make sure Mike knew exactly what he meant.

Mike glanced over his shoulder at the counter before looking back at Eddie. Then his eyes moved to Richie and back before a warm smile formed on his face.

“No need,” he said, shaking his head. “If Richie vouches for you, I trust his word. You can start next Monday at noon. We’ll ease you into the breakfast rush.”

Eddie’s lips parted as his eyes grew round with surprise. It seemed all too easy. He almost didn’t believe that it was real.

“Wait,” he said, feeling like he needed to make sure. “Aren’t you going to — don’t you need to know more about me?”

Mike looked him over with understanding.

“It doesn’t matter where you came from, Eddie. Your past is none of my business as long as you can do the work,” he said, somehow sensing that was where Eddie’s hesitation came from. “How about this? We take two weeks for a trial run. If you can work hard and keep up, you can stick around.”

Eddie nodded his head quickly, feeling like that was a fair deal.

“Thank you,” he said.

“You’re doing me a favor,” Mike assured him. “I should be thanking you. This meal’s on the house by the way. Don’t you think about getting your wallets out.”

Eddie watched him walk away before sitting back against the booth, taking a deep breath. When his eyes rose to meet Richie’s, he saw that the other man was looking incredibly satisfied.

“Last night, you asked me how. This is how.”

Eddie swallowed hard, trying and failing to breathe through the overwhelmed emotions rising in his chest. When the tears pricked at his eyes, he knew that they were different. Eddie was quick to duck his head, wiping them discreetly. But Richie noticed easily.

“Hey,” he said, reaching across the table.

Eddie shook his head, looking up at him again with a smile.

“I’m happy,” he said, letting out a laugh as he spoke.

A smile broke out on Richie’s face too and he reached out, taking Eddie’s hand in his. Eddie didn’t hesitate to weave their fingers together.

“Good,” Richie said decidedly. “You deserve it.”

For the first time, Eddie was starting to believe that maybe he did.

*****

“To Trashmouth Records!”

Beverly’s cheer echoed through the Richie's apartment.

“To Trashmouth Records!” they all echoed, raising their flutes full of champagne.

Eddie felt content, pressed close to Richie’s side with the taller man’s arm around his shoulders. Mike left the diner in the care of the assistant manager, allowing them both to attend the small party they were throwing at Richie’s apartment. It had been open for two months and it was already proving successful. They were all there to support Richie, who was beyond pleased with how it well it was going. As he sipped at his drink, Eddie let himself appreciate this moment. He was surrounded by people that he could now call friends.

A mere few weeks ago, he couldn’t have imagined having one friend, much less six. He didn’t need to pinch himself to make sure it was real. The kiss that Richie pressed to his temple was proof enough for him. Eddie leaned more into his side, smiling contentedly as the others spread out in the living room, all drinking and talking happily. Beverly wound up on Ben’s lap when he sat in the armchair and Stan was squeezed between Bill and Mike on the couch. Eddie and Richie stayed right where they were.

“You okay?” Richie asked quietly, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder lightly.

“I’m perfect,” Eddie said, turning his head to look up at him.

Richie gazed back at him with a tender look in his eyes.

“I have something for you,” Eddie said, pulling away from him to pull a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. “I’ve been waiting until I have it all. With tips and everything, I’m doing pretty good at the diner.”

Eddie pressed the check into Richie’s hand before looking up at him again.

“We’re even.”

Richie sighed, shaking his head.

“We always were, Eds,” he said.

“Not to me,” Eddie said, reaching up to push Richie’s glasses up his nose where they were slipping. “You know why I wanted to do this.”

“I know,” Richie said, reaching up to stroke his thumb over Eddie’s cheek.

They stood there for a long time, staring at one another as they let themselves realize the new shift in their relationship. There was an unspoken rule between them, one that Eddie put into place, that they would wait until he felt like it was right. Until there was nothing hanging over their heads. That time was now. Eddie leaned up slowly, hesitating when there was mere millimeters between them. Richie closed the rest of the distance, pressing a soft kiss to Eddie’s lips. It was just how it should have been. Perfect in its simplicity with nothing standing between them.

It was all he ever wanted.

“It’s about damn time,” Beverly called out.

Eddie pulled away, letting out a huff as Richie grinned. Glancing over his shoulder with warm cheeks, Eddie saw that the others were all smiling at them.

“Mind your own business,” he said lightly.

“Gladly,” Stan said in a deadpan voice, though his eyes betrayed his affection.

Richie reached down, squeezing Eddie’s hip lightly.

“Will you stay after?” he asked quietly.

Eddie looked up at him and nodded, feeling a thrill of anticipation run through him.

“S-stop hogging each other,” Bill said, a smile in his voice. “We’re w-w-watching a movie.”

Eddie and Richie crossed over, dropping on the ground in front of the couch. They were still pressed close, their fingers entwined and Eddie’s head resting on Richie’s shoulder while they watched the movie. He didn’t plan on falling asleep but one second his eyes were sliding closed and he was listening to the sound of the characters talking and the next, Richie was gently shaking him awake.

“Everyone’s leaving,” he said quietly as Eddie shifted and blinked the sleep from his eyes.

Eddie lifted his head, looking around sleepily before rubbing his eyes and pushing up to his feet. Richie followed soon after and Eddie waved goodbye to everyone, the sleeves of his sweater falling over his hands. Richie walked them all to the door as Eddie leaned against the arm of the couch, trying to bring himself to a more alert state. By the time the door shut, Eddie’s stomach was aflutter with nerves and anticipation. He bit down on his lower lip as Richie ambled back into the room, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Hey,” Richie said, the corner of his mouth ticking upwards.

Eddie’s cheeks grew warm and he pressed his palm to his cheek, smiling shyly.

“Hi,” he murmured.

“Fucking hell, you’re cute,” Richie said, shaking his head as he walked over. “Cute cute _cute_.”

“Stop,” Eddie complained half-heartedly, letting his head fall to Richie’s chest as soon as he was close enough.

“Never.”

Richie’s hand lifted, stroking through Eddie’s hair. It was a soothing feeling and Eddie knew that he really had nothing to be nervous about. This was Richie. There was nothing to be afraid of. Lifting his head, Eddie gazed into his eyes and felt a tug of desire low in his belly as he looked into Richie’s eyes. They stayed like that for a few breathless moments before Eddie pushed up, capturing Richie’s lips in a kiss. It was so much more than the one before. There was more passion, and more desperation, as Eddie curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt and tilted his head to the side just slightly, exhaling lightly against Richie’s lips before reaching up to cup the back of his neck.

Richie’s hands fell to his hips, his fingers slipping below his sweater to brush over his heated skin with soft touches that made him feel even warmer. They stayed like that for ages, kissing and holding one another with gentle care, taking it slowly with no need to rush at all. Eddie gasped a little when Richie swept his tongue over his bottom lip before delving into his mouth. The feeling was indescribable. Eddie could have stayed like this forever but he equally knew that he wanted more. He _needed_ more. Pulling away from Richie, Eddie looked up into his eyes and stroked his fingers lightly over Richie’s jaw.

“What do you want?” Richie asked quietly.

“Everything,” Eddie said, letting his hand fall to Richie’s chest where he could feel Richie’s rapid heartbeat. “All of you.”

“You have me,” Richie said, resting his forehead against Eddie’s. “You have since the very beginning, Eds.”

Eddie shuddered at his words, though he knew that they rang true. Even when he pushed Richie away, there was always a tether between them. They would always come back to each other. He knew that now.

“Are you okay?” Richie asked, sounding slightly concerned.

“Yes,” Eddie said without hesitation.

“Are you sure? I want-I want this to be for you. I want you to do it for yourself, not for me.”

Eddie couldn’t help but smile before he leaned in for another soft kiss..

“Make love to me,” he whispered against Richie’s lips.

“Gladly,” Richie said.

With that, he straightened up and gathered Eddie in his arms, lifting him off the ground. Eddie didn’t hesitate to wrap his legs around Richie’s waist as they kissed slowly and endlessly. It made it hard to walk back to the bedroom and Eddie couldn’t help but pull away and giggle lightly when Richie bumped into the wall on the way. Richie looked at him with both desire and amusement in his eyes, brushing their noses together as he carried Eddie on into the bedroom.

His feet only hit the floor again when they reached the bed. Eddie didn’t hesitate to grasp at Richie’s shirt, staring into his eyes as he tugged it up just a little bit. Richie raised his arms over his head and let Eddie pull it off. Eddie looked over him with hungry eyes, finding nothing that he didn’t like. Richie looked beautiful to him, with mussed hair and kiss-swollen lips. Eddie couldn’t help but touch, brushing his hands over his shoulders.

“I want you,” he said, running his fingers down Richie’s chest as he looked up into Richie’s eyes. “I want you inside me. Please I-”

Richie cut him off with a deep, consuming kiss. Eddie whimpered a little against his mouth as desire rushed through him. They staggered onto the bed and Richie pulled him on top of him to straddle his lap. Eddie pulled away just long enough to pull off his own sweater.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Richie said, stroking his fingers up Eddie’s side as he fell back on the bed to look up at Eddie. “So fucking gorgeous, baby.”

His words elicited a shiver from Eddie as he brushed his fingers over Richie’s abdomen.

“I’ve never done it like this,” Eddie said, looking up into his eyes. “With this… closeness. Feeling like this… it’s all new.”

Richie looked at him with understanding and sympathy in his eyes. Eddie knew now that it wasn’t pity. It was just a shared pain over his past. A pain that he was healing from every single day.

“I’ll make you feel good, Eds,” he said, truth ringing in every word. “I promise. Let me make you feel good.”

Eddie nodded eagerly, wanting that more than anything. Richie carefully turned them over on the bed, laying Eddie back on it. Before he did anything else, he reached over to the nightstand. Eddie watched as he pulled out lube and a condom. Nerves bloomed in his chest once again and he took a deep breath to calm himself. Richie looked back at him, checking in on him silently. Eddie simply nodded again. Richie set the things on the bed before leaning down. He settled in the cradle of his hips as Eddie parted his thighs, wrapping his legs around his waist.

With his hands buried in Richie’s hair, Eddie brought him down for a slow, gentle kiss. It was as tender as they came, with brushing lips and stroking tongues that brought nothing but a soft warmth to their bodies. They melded together and kissed for what felt like hours, learning each other slowly. Eddie felt his body humming with desire and need and Richie when he pulled away and looked up into his eyes. His thumbs stroked over Richie’s cheeks and he arched his back when Richie rocked against him, making him shiver and moan before he pressed up for another kiss, this one more intense than before.

Then Richie was reaching between them, undoing Eddie’s pants. He lifted his hips to help Richie slide them over his hips and down his legs. Richie kicked away his own pants before kissing his way down Eddie’s throat, mouthing and nipping at his skin and drawing light gasps and moans from his lips. It was intense, making him tremble with need. Eddie stroked his hands over Richie’s back, arching into his touches and kisses as he hitched his legs up around his hips. As Richie rocked against him, their cocks rubbed together through their boxers and Eddie pressed his lips together to keep from crying out.

“Please,” he gasped as Richie pulled away to look down at him with hot eyes. “I need-I need more.”

“Shh,” Richie soothed him, hooking his fingers in Eddie’s waistband. “I know exactly what you need.”

Eddie lifted his hips again, feeling completely at ease as Richie stripped him down the rest of the way. Then he was parting his thighs and brushing a light touch over his cock, making Eddie thrust into his hand desperately. Richie hummed out his name approvingly, stroking him slowly until he was moaning freely, giving into the pleasure of how good it felt.

“How are you doing?” Richie asked, nuzzling at his throat as he brushed his thumb over the tip of Eddie’s cock.

“So so good. So fucking good,” Eddie chanted, rocking his hips up into Richie’s hand.

“You ready for more?”

He nodded his head quickly yet whined at the loss of Richie’s hand on his cock.  Eddie made himself comfortable as Richie reached for the lube, pushing a pillow beneath his hips to raise them just a little bit so that it was easier. Richie looked a little bit nervous as he poured lube out onto his fingers and rubbed them together to warm it.

“Let me know if you want to stop,” Richie told him.

Eddie nodded as he parted his legs, giving Richie room to fit his hands between his thighs. He couldn’t help but moan and shiver when Richie’s finger pressed to his hole, stroking in slow, teasing circles. When he slid the first finger in, pushing it in and out slowly as Eddie grew used to the feeling, he felt like he might burn from the inside out. The way it felt was beyond words. Eddie didn’t think he’d ever felt closer to another person before. He rocked his hips against Richie’s hand, letting out a keening noise when he pressed a second finger in alongside the first. He scissored and curled his fingers, working Eddie open carefully all while he murmured out encouraging words.

“Look at you,” Richie said, gazing down at Eddie. “You’re doing so fucking good for me, baby.”

Eddie loved how he talked, rocking his hips desperately in a wordless plea for more. Richie somehow knew, sliding in a third finger and curling them just right. Eddie cried out when he brushed over his prostate. A satisfied noise slipped out of Richie’s mouth and he rubbed at the spot slowly, making Eddie shake and moan with each circle of his fingers. Then they were gone, leaving Eddie feeling empty.

“Beautiful,” Richie said again as he shucked off his own boxers.

Before he could reach for the condom, Eddie pushed up and turned them over. Richie went willingly, watching Eddie with a burning gaze. Eddie straddled his thighs shakily, ripping open the foil packet and rolling the condom on over his length. Keeping his hands as steady as he could, he slicked up Richie’s thick length and shivered at the thought of being so thoroughly filled.

“Is this okay?” Eddie asked, glancing up at Richie.

“It’s perfect,” Richie assured him. “You’re perfect.”

Eddie flushed at his words, scooting up until he was positioned over his cock. Reaching back, he lined the head up with his hole and began pressing down. Inch-by-inch, Richie filled him slowly as they both sighed and moaned at the feeling. Even though he felt a slight burn from the stretch, Eddie relished in it, something deep in his chest feeling whole and perfect in that moment. He rocked his hips slowly, tilting his head back towards the ceiling.

“It’s so good,” Eddie moaned out, letting his eyes slide closed. “Feels so good inside me, Rich. So perfect.”

His words came out with a breathless edge as he twisted and rocked and lifted himself up before sinking back down. Eddie dropped his head after a long few minutes, watching Richie’s face as he groaned and rocked up, meeting him thrust for thrust. It was pretty obvious that it wasn’t going to last long. Their emotions ran too high and it had been too long for the both of them.

“It’s so fucking good, baby,” Richie said, guiding Eddie with large hands on his hips. “You feel perfect, so tight and warm and… fuck Eds it’s so goddamn good.”

Eddie nodded, moving a little quicker. The pure intimacy of the moment made him feel even better. Richie pushed up to sit, kissing Eddie deeply as they both moved together, thrusting and rocking and grinding as they drew closer and closer. It felt beyond just sex. Beyond anything, Eddie ever felt before. It was made him feel whole and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were making love Eddie cried out when Richie’s hips surged upwards and the tip of his cock brushed his prostate. Richie made sure to hit that angle every time, making him whimper and moan and sob out his name as he felt his body growing hotter and tighter and more and more tense. Eddie reached between them, stroking his cock desperately

“That’s it, baby,” Richie encouraged, a strain to his voice. “Fuck yourself on my cock. Gonna feel so good, Eds.”

Eddie whimpered out his name as the coil in his lower belly grew tighter and hotter. Before he knew it, he was spilling out over Richie’s stomach. His orgasm lasted for what felt like ages, rolling through him in intense, pleasurable waves that made him cry out hoarsely, Richie’s name a mantra on his lips.

“Fuck...Eds...baby...fuck...you’re...so...so fucking good…”

Richie came with a long moan, pulling Eddie down to kiss him deeply as he rode it out until they were both too sensitive. Eddie collapsed forward on his chest without care for the mess. They didn’t move for a long time, sweaty bodies pressed close to one another as they kissed slowly and deeply. Pouring themselves into one another and the embrace that they refused to break.

After a while of that, Richie slowly pulled out and nudged Eddie over to his back. Once he disposed of the condom, he returned with a cloth to clean him both. Eddie barely waited for him to toss it on the floor before he was curled into his side, his head on Richie’s chest. Richie stroked over his spine and hummed absentmindedly, his other hand fiddling with the leather corded bracelet that still sat on Eddie’s wrist.

“Thank you,” Eddie said quietly.

Richie paused for a moment before answering.

“For what?” he asked.

Eddie lifted his head, settling his chin on Richie’s shoulder as he met his gaze.

“For helping me,” he said, reaching up to brush his thumb over Richie’s lower lip. “For showing me that I deserve more.”

“You did all that for yourself, Eds,” Richie said with a shake of his head. “I’m just lucky enough to have met you at the right time.”

Eddie leaned up to kiss him softly before settling his head back on Richie’s chest.

“We’re both lucky,” he said without a hint of doubt in his voice.

Richie let out a murmur of agreement, lifting Eddie’s hand up to brush a kiss over the back of his knuckles.

And in that moment, Eddie felt hope for the future surge in his chest and he knew that it would be good.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear what you think!


End file.
